A Very Different Spring - FMLA time!

Well, here I am, leading a very different life than usual. No teaching, minimal thinking about work (I mean, it never quite goes away, does it?), and dealing with a very different type of stress.

It’s FMLA time.

Family and Medical Leave Act. One of the better laws that the government has passed as far as I am concerned.  Up to 12 weeks away from work to take care of family needs.  And boy!  I certainly have a family need.

Originally the goal was to save my weeks for when immigration finally came through and we moved Mum over.  The trouble with making plans that concern an official entity like immigration, is that they don’t march to the beat of anyone else’s drum - much less mine.  We really thought that Mum’s case would be expedited - Alzheimer’s, 90 years old, self-funding…why hold things up? But despite support from Senator Grassley and Senator Ossoff (talk about a disparity of views there!), we are still waiting.

Still.

It’s almost a year.

So, we are now thinking perhaps September.  Maybe October.  And Mum could not wait.  Bless her, she’s been doing so well thanks to carers and tremendous neighbor support - my goodness, I could do an entire blog about neighbor Ruth and how she stepped in and took care of…well, everything that I should have been doing, really.  But when things were learning up to the 90th birthday and phone calls were showing more and more gaps…then at the birthday itself, seeing the confusion and occasional fits of anxiety…it was clear that waiting wasn’t an option anymore.  Mum couldn’t be alone any longer. We needed either full-time care or she needed to move to a care home.  The family stepped up and plans were made.  We would move Mum to a care home near my aunt, I would empty the house and get it put on the market, and then when immigration finally come through, we almost literally just have to pack a suitcase.  Or, if it is too late, then Mum will be safe and in a good place. 

So then the weeks of waiting began. Dealing with the very different ‘professional’ culture of the UK (email is NOT a priority) and all the frustrations that come with long-distance planning. But so many positives. The new principal at the school could not have been more supportive. HR at the district level was beyond amazing. So plans were made. I focused on preparing lessons and getting my kids ready. There were bittersweet moments like the surprise farewell party and amazing gifs from my students. There were some tough travails trying to stay focused and on task as the end date came closer.  My long-term sub prepared and got familiar.  My team was there to support me. Paul, my husband, was fully on board. And every time I hugged my dog I was emotional. 3 months away. That’s a long, long time. 
But now I’m here. Mum’s moved into her new home. I’m on track with shipments and charity collections. The real estate agent selection will be made soon, and life keeps moving forward.
It’s amazing how I switched off and into this new life so quickly. It’s had some joyous parts with lovely country walks always available - and the time to do them. There have been some very difficult times with a lost and confused mother facing the reality of losing her independence. There have been difficult moments trying to make things happen at my speed and some frustrations dealing with things out of my control. There have been unexpected struggles such as my mother-in-law passing away 3 days after I got here - and I can’t be there to help and/or look after my husband. Poor Paul.  
Teaching and my media center plans are there. There’s a little part of my brain that keeps me picking up my notebook and jotting down ideas. I am not quite finished with my Gifted Endorsement, so work is being done and projects completed.

One thing has become clear.  The ‘rest-of-the-world’ attitude about not working when it’s not a workday is so much healthier. It took me about a month to get over the frustration of answers not being given, slow email responses, and the inordinate amount of national holidays there appear to be, but eventually, I have been able to slow my mind down, match the pace, and enjoy my long walks in the countryside.

The question is, how will I resolve the disparity when I get ‘home’?  How will I find ways to keep what I am loving - and what is clearly so good for me - while keeping up with my own expectations and needs of the world I am going back to.